Me on a rainy road in Austria
Thoughts

Lost in the right direction.

I wanted to have this post published a long time ago, but procrastination caught up with me again. My sabbatical is offically over and the daily grind takes control over again...

I randomly read a quote on Instagram and i just love it. However, it’s a tough one:

Your progress does not need to be seen or validated by other people.

I also keep telling myself that I don’t care about the opinions of others and then I keep catching myself pondering what someone has said, how someone assesses my situation or thinks of my decisions. Believe me, I know what I’m talking about. If you quit your job and just do what you want, it will not go uncommented…

Sure, we want to be seen. I want to be seen… but I don’t want to be judged!

Life is a journey and not a competition.

Of course, the goal in life is to grow and to develop in a certain way. To be a bit wiser at the end of the day. But everyone makes different steps or has a different pace. And how can i even judge about the progress of someone else?

Many people think they have to look for or show this progress in the “outside” material world, with a fat car or a fancy watch or a small house in the outskirts (God forbid!) In this way concrete life goals are often lost: we believe we have to perform, which works for a while without any problems, but gradually we lose ourselves, our own goals, ideals, desires and longings – give up what defines us in essence. In this way we fail to live and get on the wrong track.

I have been like this, definitely.

All i can say is that i feel different today. My mindset (…i hate that word tbh) is different. But that is, in fact, the progress i’ve made… the progress nobody can see, cause it happens in the “inner” world.

When I came back from my trip abroad a year ago, I felt so strong and powerful. I felt that I had my life in my own hands… Then the days and weeks and months passed by and somehow this feeling seemed to evaporate or to dissolve. I let myself be lulled again by German mentality and the surroundings of family and friends who only strive for security and a certain standard of living. The worry and concern bothered me…

It was hard work to recognize that and not so easy to leave that behind…

After 21 months hiatus (a time without a regular paid job) i still feel lost somehow (like this whole blogpost probably too, lol). But i feel lost in the right direction. And it feels good.

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